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5/10/17


Summer is merely creeping,

But I’ve been pulling back the shades, I can almost see it

Ready to take Spring by the collar, and pull the footing out from underneath it.

Don’t Fall before it slips, Winter will be around soon enough to clean up.

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3/20/17


Dating like I’m out here, running from love.

Skirting commitment?

Okay, sure, I admit it.

Easier than risking it.

Okay, okay, I admit it.

 

Without a sense of a future,

Why bring someone else in to risk it?

Why waste a womans time by promising commitment?

Would never get what she deserves from me,

Okay, okay, I admit it.

 

Know it would hurt her.

Know I don’t deserve her.

Needs someone who will put her first.

They can unwrap each others worlds.

Okay, okay, I admit it.

 

Got an inability to provide,

For a partner in my life.

No clue what to do with a commitment,

Okay? Okay, I admit it.

 

Sometimes just need some attention,

A physical kind of friendship.

No reason to end it when we both benefit.

Okay? Let’s admit it.

 

Running from love, and dating to feel young,

It keeps me limited,

But it keeps me timid,

And boy, do I need it.

Okay, I admit it.

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3/16/17


Can’t we just learn to all love OR hate each other?

Really, hate is such a strong word.

Maybe we could all be indifferent and just entirely avoid each other.

Sink into our own bubbles.

Silence.

Solitude.

Coming from Minnesota, a concept like that seems so rude.

So anti “nice”.

Can’t even drive away without a quick chat and wave to a neighbor.

I don’t give a damn.

But fuck, dude. It’s so ingrained in us.

The customary Minnesota good-bye.

Learning to replace is with the quick, out the back-door, Irish good-bye, cause I gotta go.

Got somewhere else to be.

And there’s nothing wrong with stepping outside of your states restraints.

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3/16/17


Please realize it.

Ain’t gotta say it no clearer.

You’re not what I want.

Your call’s coming it,

I just keep pretending not to hear it.

See your name, of course.

Leave it alone.

Quit beating this dead horse.

I’m no ones, definitely not yours.

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11/7/17


Happy Birthday, pops.

Miss you buddy.

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3/17/17


These pages won’t fill themselves,

Dust is filling up the shelves.

Notebooks filled with past scribbles,

Filling them all felt so simple.

Writing’s not the problem.

Real problem is how often.

Need to vacate for a day.

Breathe fresh air far away.

Seclude myself into a sea of trees.

Get in touch with what touches my feet.

Remember to take it all in.

Blind to facts you’re not seeing.

Remember to believe in your dreams,

They’re the reason for being.

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4/15/17


Being alone is no problem. Until it is. At some point a swift change occurs in my pattern of thinking and all of the sudden, I need a her to fall asleep next to tonight. Someone to wake up next to tomorrow morning. Just so fucking needy. Like an infinite infant, always feeling under-fed, cranky from lack of sleep and malnourished from no consistent source of love.

Just simply going along with motions.

Going along with her, her and her. Forcing pieces to fit and the shapes aren’t even close. They don’t even have the same number of sides as the molds they’re being pressed against. No matter how many Lego castles you’ve once built, you are no real creator. You’re a counter-part to the created.

Here to ride along, alone, and view what destiny has in store.

Given the figment of choice but the shackled restraints of the “American dream” make it nearly impossible to grow. Stuck in a small pot, stifled with no footing.

This city was once a forrest, now uprooted and gentrified. We can’t let our souls be diminished to the same. For shame, generation X, for shame.

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3/16/17


Would tell you that I’m not completely invading your thinly veiled idea of privacy by entirely eavesdropping your conversation with your clearly first-date-mate at this dive bar, but that would be a total and utter lie.

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4/15/17


Is it too much to want a break?

What if that desire never leaves, and during those rare breaks in the day, you want to fill the time with busy-body activities, work, social banter or a physical form of a time waster like drinks at the bar?

Gotta just keep running from the now like it’s on fire.

It’s never good enough, no matter the close future you have planned.

Cause things rarely go as planned, you know.

I try to let them happen as they may.

It’s overwhelming, to the point it should be avoided at all costs.

Just another control-less control freak.

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4/15/17


You’ll never love me like I want,

But can I ever accept that as a fact?

Not really sure if I can, or even want to, wrap my head around that.

Can we really ever be sure of anything?

Scratching heads at dinner, but others are content picking out their wedding rings.

They’re just content with settling.

You and I are the types that chase endless dreams out of sleep.

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