This is an update from May 6th, 2013. I’m currently stuck. Infatuated and confused. Creating a large mess for a handful of people while attempting to grip tight on any shred of happiness this situation brings. I’m old, wise and honest enough to admit it’s entirely selfish. No justifications needed. I feel the passion, so I’ve acted on it. And acted on it again, and again. Who knows where this will end.

Restless laying on the floor of some hotel room. Last time I slept good was sober in your arms. We haven’t been there for a while. We know our situation and have to somehow bandage the guilt.
Each sip masks.
Each puff disguises.
Handle the scandal, bury the demons. Force feed ourselves the belief that we’ll be better tomorrow. Knowing these substances only allow our piling issues to escape for a short period. We tend to backtrack while under the influence. Ruining any progress we’ve made.
Drink,
Smoke,
Kiss,
Fuck,
Talk,
Sleep,
Repeat.
That’s our cycle. Round and round, we keep going. I love it. We’re wrecked to the point of decay so we mix more spirits and stretch out our time feeling alive together.
I can’t help but to feel we’re only building more barriers. Adding to the already emotional hijacking reign of being we provide each other. We find our escapes together. Chasing dreams, though through our clogged thinking we truly have no damn idea what we want.
You sway,
I sway.
Minds change,
Hearts break,
Sometimes they even mend.
That’s rare and we know it.